Happy Jack, Sad Jack....

A very bright morning it was….I woke up at my usual time and got ready for the class and as I stepped outside my hostel, the weather seemed welcoming me …..the sky seemed electric blue & my mood was violet operating at higher frequency… and life seemed so easy...anyway I was already late for class and as I reached the entrance of my classroom , the teacher welcomed me with her complaining glance but even this glance seemed sparkling as if she was saying ..”Oh …here you are….I was waiting for you only”….next class economics …usual boring lectures & stuffs but even it seemed like a rhyme & I enjoyed it thoroughly….classes over and we were back to our daily routine which included some useless talks , some aimless stroll and some pointless comments but destiny couldn’t tolerate me with a happy-face & I bore the burnt for some nasty remarks although it was not meant for what it was supposed to…I was still happy but shocked slightly and with a postprandial walk my mind started an analysis of events and as it was being analyzed step-by-step, my steps were getting heavier & heavier…..

The next day morning seemed gloomy...I woke up much before my usual time feeling restless and despite this I was late again for my class, again same glance of same teacher but this time I glared in retaliation & a usually interesting lecture seemed quite boring…
No more talks, no more strolls, no more remarks that day. Even a friendly prank infuriated me and suddenly I felt like all alone with an uncontrollable flow of negative vibes around me.

These two days helped me a lot to understand a minor and probable part of the abstruse relationship between my mind & my heart. Human actions & behavior are outcome of a closed loop system that consists of mind & heart. Here the mind works as a processor and heart works as a feedback element(with gain>>1) and intricacy lies there that mind handles the technicalities of a matter and heart takes care of emotional part…and when you get positive signals(that comes from an act of affection, love, care, praise shown by someone) as an input to your heart then this gets amplified several times(as gain>>1 for this feedback element) and a stronger positive signal results as the output and this output gets added(positive feedback) to the signals ready to be processed by mind and output of mind results in a high intensity of your action and you feel energetic , happy, lively and everything seems at its place….but when you get negative signals as an output from your heart which ,in turn, comes from the output of mind part as a result of processing some bad human behavior, then this negative signal gets added(negative feedback) to the already present signal and it results in a reduction of intensity of input signals and when mind process this weak signal , the output results in a reduced intensity of your action and you feel enervated , sad ,depressed and everything seems like falling apart…and such feelings , generally ,continues for a bit longer as it gets processed again and again by this closed loop system until you get a strong positive feeling or feedback ….and this is how our mind and heart control our actions and behavior and simultaneous working of mind & heart on the same signals results in an expected or unexpected, good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable human actions and behavior.

The only way out to never get into such kinds of negative feelings to convert this close system into an open one and make our mind & heart work independent of each other.

Let the mind handle the technicalities alone and make your heart strong enough to take care of emotional part alone. Probably, this theory will make the world a bit happier.

Statutory Warning....

“One classic regular please…”, I ordered ……My life is not so regular in itself as this brand of cigarette is regular in my life ….why do I smoke??

Everyday I burn my solemn promises to myself not to burn my lungs…..but why??

I don’t know why …….probably it teaches me the theory of life….it teaches me the way to live my life.

My favorite brand pipe is between my lips and as I light it up there starts my life burning from one end.

With my first puff, I forget everything else , I feel like on the top of the world and I get the same feeling as my life starts unmindful of the sufferings of this cruel world.

Afterwards my life starts to move at the same pace as my burning pipe…it all depends on my capacity that how much I can live & how much I can inhale………

With every single breathe my life & my cigarette both are getting shorter….but I can’t stop breathing & I can’t quit smoking.

For now my cigarette is between my fingers as I am talking to my friend but it is still burning…….still getting shorter ….same with my life ..no matter if I am not interested in it , it will move at its pace…….it’ll go on without waiting for me to take interest in itself as my cigarette doesn’t wait for me…

I inhale up to my capacity and with my last puff I let out a cloud of smoke….and….i watch it going up in the air …and….the ashes lying down on the ground…..pretty reminiscent of my life , there are times when I want to go up ,I want to socialize , I want to share my happiness and there are times when I want to be alone , I am sad , I don’t want to share my agony , feeling dejected……the two sides of my life like “smoke & ashes”.

Now I am left with nothing …I am finished with my cigarette but the part of cigarette from where I hold it , is still in my hand …my cigarette ends here….and my life..i m finished with my life …death is embracing me …my life ends here……….

With each puff I enjoyed my cigarette ….With each breathe I enjoyed my life….

That’s the philosophy of life……my cigarette conveyed me.

My literal tribute to my cigarette ….

“I have noticed some nasty lines written there that cigarette is injurious to my health ,to my life, to my existence…..but I know that my life , my existence is far more injurious to the existence of cigarette….one cigarette just takes 72 seconds of my life but in that 72 seconds I take the whole life of a cigarette…certainly I am more injurious………….

I WILL BET MY OWN EXISTENCE TO SAVE YOUR EXISTENCE…..”

This thought of mine is dedicated to one of my friend very close to my heart but closer to classic regular.

p.s.-smoke at your own risk.

One Missed Call....

But pappu can’t dance salaaaa……..oh my god….what the hell can I do if pappu can’t dance ..I was muttering out of sheer frustration till I realized that this is my new ring tone.
I squinted into the watch ….GOD..it is 2.15AM & someone is calling me at this time ..
Who the hell invented this devil gizmo & if by chance invented then what the hell any need to provide it with missed call facility….u must have discrete choices , either you can call or you can’t , nothing in between……..ANYWAY it was all over now and I could do nothing except uttering some hard swear words & surely I would not have such a wide spectrum of thoughts & of course some really bad words if it would have been a day-matter but you know I was in the sleep of just & really I never compromise when it comes to my sleeping….after such a long process my eyes were wide open & I just tried to get into the call details ..it was some unknown number….I was confused & you’ll think why I was confused on this silly matter , now the explanation that I will provide is , as I call it , “MISSED CALL MENTALITY”.
WE all are almost very dexterous in giving missed call & then giggling over our this devilish act but you know , that who receives it , gets some arduous job of thinking what to do next….should I call back or just ignore it .
I am talking of receiver mentality as many times I am on the other side …Giving example of myself , I don’t even bother to give a better look or a second thought as soon I sniff that it is from some known to me ….and if I have nothing to do at the moment except just lying on my bed and gazing interminably to the roof as if it is my soul-mate then only I can even think of giving a call , of course a missed one & that too of such a short duration that it will vanish as you’ll winked at it (my apprehension-people are getting smarter to convert a mean to be missed call into a long time chatting without caring about slightly less smart people)….
But it was a missed call from an unknown number so I was very curious…don’t get it wrong please.. I am not that curious but my curiosity finds its root from the mentality of a college going but still single & ready to mingle boy…….Isn’t it possible that this call have some relation with girls …oh god…may be …very much possible …it gave me a kind of sensation & I just again flipped through call register ..got the number and dialed it back …my heart was beating like anything and I was expecting eagerly for a dulcet tone…number not in use …I just wanted to throw my phone but my eyes saw something horrible like my papa glaring at me on my thought , I stopped even thinking.

“Fortune favors the brave” ….adage seemed the most meaningful at that moment & I started again but in vein…..number not in use….I thought who the hell is this who just bought this number to give a missed call & that too to me ..”am I the chosen one”….

THIS missed call made my life hell but somehow I made my heart a bit tougher but then suddenly again the screen of my mobile flashed same number …I almost jumped over it and pressed the button with my legs shaking vigorously….a lady sounded on the other side & that too in a quite euphonious manner ………………….giving me the details what should I do if I want to change my caller tune ……yes my friends ..it was from the customer care service…….hell with this service ….they even didn’t care for such a hopeful heart …for what the hell they are paid …& who the hell are they to give me suggestions on my caller tune …...again there was nothing left to me except my all-time friend “my self-designed swear words”….I banged back to the real world……& with a dim hope of getting a missed call from my “THE MOST WANTED “ one.

A Silence says it all....

He wanted to say it since a long time. Not that he only wanted but many a times he, indirectly , had put it before her but probably she could not understand or may be she didn’t want to understand ………..But today….its different….its a now-or-never for him ….today is the last day in college………today his feelings want to cross all labyrinths ….. today he wants to pour his heart out before her……today he is going to say it all without caring for her answer …even if she says “NO”, he wants to accept it as her sweetest gift that she would give him for loving her unconditionally……………….

Ultimately…he musters all his courage, checks his sang-froid and goes to her ….there is no one around…..only he & she secluded from the not-so-loving world…..She is standing a heartbeat away or better say it a heartbeat close to him……

He is about to explode with his lips trembling……..SShhh…..She put her hand on his lips…..an elysian silence they feel constantly gazing into each others eyes……..two palpitating hearts sharing some beats ….a deep long silence……& ……& all is said without uttering a single alphabet…………………………………………………….

His eyes said it….her eyes accepted…..His throbbing heart said it…..her throbbing heart listened …….His silence said it…..her silence grasped ….

A way of communication that is so powerful & effectual …..SILENCE….without any loss of data & information. But we are unaware of it most of the times ….the one who uses this way of communication effectively is surely the best communicator….he could convey the actual message without any distortion because you know that this communication need not any channel that incorporates some source of disturbance….

But here the transmitter & receiver are the player so it is demanding that receiver must be so efficient such that it could interpret the essence of SILENCE sent by the transmitter.

You may need to have a great lexicon to express your various emotions & feelings but a simple use of silence, if you know then you can express yourself in a much better way.

I am not saying that you keep quiet all the time but most of the times it happens that when we need to be quiet, we spoil it using our verbal skills. So I think that a simple silence if used effectively always makes our life easier ……

“IF SPEAKING IS SILVER THEN SILENCE IS GOLD”….Probably it is true.

SShhh……..SILENCE Please.

The Middle Class

Well....i dedicate this thought of mine to my family & likes of my family ...............
THE word "middle" has many advantages & disadvantages too ..it depends on the word which comes after the "middle" & certainly when it comes before "class family" then awkward situations arise.
On basis of resources we divide the families & say like upper,middle & lower class family..but i think we mustn't divide it like this & with resources we must take "desires " also into account because desires & resources are intertwined with each other & because of this only, all kinds of suffering to "the middle class family".

Let me explain it ......just see if an upper class family has a high aspirations then it has resources also to fulfill it & the lower one -they don't have any aspirations because they don't have the resources.But awkward situation arise when you have high aspirations & limited resource & this is what actually happens with the middle class family.While desiring they forget about the resource & when they try to achieve then this limited resource creates problems....In other words it can be said that when the desires are of upper class & resources are slightly above the lower class then it makes a perfect middle class.

BUT again the happy family is the middle class family until the desires are materialistic....somehow they manage to get rid of their desires of living a lavish life but as far as i have seen or experienced it really becomes painful when a middle class father wants a good higher studies for his worthy son & he can't afford it due to lack of resources ....at this point of time all the happiness is gone & then he cries over his status of being a middle class man... then it seems like a stigma- "the middle class".....that is the real agony .

Finally.....what??? are you happy or not if you belong to a middle class family ???

Defining LOVE....

Getting political left a bad taste to my soul so this time I am trying to mellow the food of my soul with an ethereal sort of condiment which is called ..."LOVE"...
Since my childhood I tried my level best to understand this one but remain failed hitherto.......
But this time i am trying to understand "LOVE" at different levels with different views.........

LOVE.....it would be very easier to feel it at cosmic level because this is something as vast as our universe and probably much older than universe itself.....The sole reason behind our existence...LOVE..

LOVE......philosophically speaking ,it is the only sane & satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.......

LOVE.......if it would be defined mathematically then it would be an axiom not a theorem which needs proof.....

LOVE.......in language of physics it would surely be termed as "source" & "sink" simultaneously because this is something from where everything originates & again this is something where everything gets absorbed....

LOVE......if told chemically ,it is much more sweeter than the sweetest compound ever found & gives an opposite reaction as compared to potassium cyanide if tasted...

LOVE.....commercially speaking, the deal of love is always profitable & that too for both sides & risk factor is almost absent....

LOVE......if explored spiritually then it is something for which we seek our whole life unaware of the fact that the source from where it originates lies within ourselves........

SO.....this is how i understand this but remember this all is based on my personal opinion......
you may have a better understanding of the subject ...if you have have then please i would like to be satisfied once again.....

Politically Incorrect

Expressing myself politically today...I must inform you that we "the proud citizens of largest democracy of the world" are again going to be the victim of some political turbulent period that will lead to an inevitable mid-term polls of which the most indians are afraid of.....take a break....
And the issue..........the issue over which this all political imbroglio is based is "the nuke deal"......
this is issue over which our politicians are going to fight the coming election.....this is the issue over which those white kurta clad people are going to polish their already shining future .... But just see the irony of fate that the issue over which at least 60% indian will cast their vote ,90% of them are unaware of it & will remain so forever......Again the time is coming when the merchants of dreams will show their prowess in the market of democracy .....Again the time is coming when a vote will be purchased in the market of democracy & now a days it(votes) comes cheaper ....one vote may cost from a polythene of desi daroo to some 500 bucks........our politicians can easily afford it......but this is also an irony that it is us who sell our rights to those people who don't know to respect one's rights.......anyway doesn't matter ...we are again going to be pulverized in the mill of democracy which has so many grinders ..the left...the right...the center...